


Haunted After Even in His Dreams

by Star_of_Gotham



Series: Poe Dameron and Finn: Starfighter Duo Extraordinaires [2]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Actual criticism is great though, Fluff, I'm so bad at pacing please help, Injury Recovery, M/M, Recovery, Slow Burn, or at least I'll try, probably, probably no smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-20
Updated: 2016-01-20
Packaged: 2018-05-15 02:49:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5768497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Star_of_Gotham/pseuds/Star_of_Gotham
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Finn's recovering slowly but surely, and Poe Dameron is there for him every step of the way. Alternate title: "The Space Gays Almost Kind Of Move In Together Because Finn Has Nightmares And Hurts And Poe Will Do Anything And Everything For The Man That Saved His Life And Captured His Heart."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Haunted After Even in His Dreams

**Author's Note:**

> Like I said in the additional tags, I'd like for this to be more of a slow build as I realized that pacing is a very large shortcoming of mine. This was originally just a blurb for venting and practicing, but it grew to be more and now I plan on giving it the attention it deserves. Any and all criticism is greatly wanted and appreciated, and if you too have struggled with pacing or have advice, I'm open for all suggestions and whatnot. I'd like for things to be better put together and not have the dialogue rush things by, so please tell me what you think and, like always, enjoy!

                It was dark. Very, very dark. Panting, shivering, and running, Finn could do nothing more than strain to survive in the harsh weather as he fled from certain death. The air he breathed in was barely enough to sustain him while he breathed out. His teeth chattered and clacked together, and he rapidly blinked the snow away from his eyes. His feet pounded painfully against the snow-layered ground, and Finn wasn’t sure whether the crunching sounds of it came from him or the snow. His back was straining him more than he could bear, and his fingers- quickly losing feeling- could barely keep a grip on the freezing lightsaber hilt. Every impact of his feet, every twist at his waist, every deep breath in his chest, brought pain coursing from his scar through his body. But Finn knew that if he didn’t keep running he’d end up as dead as he felt.

                The snow fell diagonally against his face as he ran onwards, avoiding trees both standing and fallen. Brush and hidden logs threatened to grab his feet at every turn, and more than once did Finn almost fall to an incapacitated state. The wind clawed at his face, and the jacket he wore offered little protection against its ravenous teeth. Snow wedged itself into any nook or crack it could, gradually settling into areas and sapping his warmth away. Burning adrenaline pumped through him with every heartbeat, reminding Finn that he was still alive, still able to make it. _Just keep running_ , he told himself. _You can’t not make it out of here, Finn_.

                But then the red glow reappeared. Finn could feel the vibrations of the power, hear the hum of its distorted beam, see the bloodied colors reflected on everything pure. And it chilled him to the core more than the physical cold ever could. He was so close, and that faint burst of hope had died at the hands of Kylo Ren. _Just like I’m going to,_ Finn thought, terrified of his fate. Before he could get much further away, he felt a terrifying force grab him around the neck, yanking him backwards hard enough to jerk the only weapon from his hands. The lightsaber’s beam retreated inside the hilt without Finn there to wield it, and lay as lifeless on the ground as he soon would. “Traitor!” Kylo shouted accusingly, cutting into Finn’s psyche. Moments later, as Finn saw the world in a blur of white, not so dissimilar from the Millennium Falcon when it had jumped to light speed, he felt a searing pain stab through his back. It pierced straight through him, and the last thing Finn saw before his death was the red of his blood, brighter by tenfold in conjunction with Kylo Ren’s lightsaber, splattered across the snow.

                But Finn felt something else, too. He felt his entire world rocking, shaking, and shifting. The view before him went black, but instead of waking up to some glorious, white figure in the sky, Finn was face to face with a very worried Poe Dameron. “Finn! Finn, hey, you awake?” he asked, both hands firmly planted on Finn’s shoulders.

                “Poe…?” Finn asked, still coming to his senses. He was hot, sweaty, and felt his heart pumping viciously in his chest. His vision was still coming together, and the dark interior of his hospital room didn’t make distinguishing the shapes any easier. “Wha…?”

                “I had to wake you up, Finn, I’m sorry. I know the doctor said you needed rest, but man, you sounded like you were dying in there, buddy,” Poe explained sympathetically, unconsciously rubbing Finn’s shoulders now that he was awake rather than grabbing them. The circular motions of Poe’s hands brought calmness into his body; something to counter his panicked heart. “You okay?”

                Finn thought about the question, and then the dream he just had. No, not a dream. That was a nightmare, and the worst one he’s ever had to top it off. “No… No, that was horrible, Poe,” Finn said, closing his eyes and resting his head forward into his hands. He rubbed his eyes gently, and did his best to calm his breathing after that. His back wasn’t hurting him that much, although he had to admit that the scar was throbbing heatedly. Poe shifted a hand from Finn’s shoulder to give his back a comforting rub, when his fingers brushed against the edge of Finn’s scar. He jumped forward at the touch, more out of surprise than any actual pain.

                “Oh kriff, Finn, sorry!” Poe said, pulling his hands away faster than he’s ever moved them before.

                “It’s okay, Poe, you just surprised me. ‘M still shaken after that nightmare, I guess,” Finn said, laughing weakly at himself for the situation. He wiped the sweat off his forehead, and sat back against the pillow. He found it best to fall asleep in the same position as he would lean back to read something, since his back wouldn’t be twisted or bent at all that way. The whole thing felt so vivid, and Finn had felt genuine horror and torture, but it had all faded away when Poe woke him up. _Poe…_ The pilot had been visiting Finn regularly every day, twice a day, and never failing to show. That evening, Poe had stayed late after sharing a dinner tray, and they ended up just dozing off in each other’s company: Poe at a weird angle in the chair, and Finn almost comfortably in the pillows and blankets. “Thanks for waking me, Poe,” Finn finally said, breaking the silence that had filled the room back in. “It was messed up, man. Guess you’ve saved me from the First Order twice now, huh?” Finn attempted to bring a little bit of lightness back into the dark room at night, but Poe failed to lighten up.

                “Was that what the nightmare was about?” he asked, leaning forward with elbows on knees and looking apologetically at Finn.

                Finn nodded. “Yeah… Yeah, that’s what they’re all about,” he confessed, looking down at the edge of his bed. His heartbeat still hadn’t gone back to normal yet. “This one just happened to be the worst of ‘em, but you cut it short.”

                Poe put a hand on Finn’s knee, knowing that it was better than him comforting Finn via his back again. “I’ll do whatever I can to help with those, Finn. You don’t deserve to be haunted by that horrible organization after everything you’ve done and been through. Don’t let them ruin anything for you, man; you’re doing good things in the universe now, Finn.”

                Finn put a sweaty hand over Poe’s rough one on his knee, and squeezed it before letting go. “Thanks, Poe. Really. You don’t know how much those words mean to me,” Finn said, looking up at Poe’s intense, searching eyes. Finn was startled into looking away for a moment, but after telling himself that was stupid he looked back. “Poe, you uh… You mind staying the rest of the night…?” Finn asked tentatively, not wanting to be alone after that nightmare. He had _felt_ alone, and after everything he’d gone through since leaving the evil First Order behind that was the last thing he wanted to feel again. The Resistance was the best home he’d ever had, his only one, really, and he didn’t think it was right to feel alone in your own home.

                “Sure thing, Finn. To be honest,” Poe said, stretching his arms in the air and yawning, “I was planning on falling back asleep in this thing anyway.” Before Poe’s mind could try and dissuade him, he kept going with the words. “Besides, I liked falling asleep in here with you: you’re a lot quieter than the other Resistance pilots when you nod off.”

                Finn wasn’t sure how to take the comment, feeling relieved that Poe would stay the night with him, but… something about what Poe had said felt different to him. He brushed the feeling aside, happy enough to have company until morning (and probably after, if he knew Poe as well as he thought he did). “Here Poe, take one of these pillows,” Finn said, offering the pilot one that was nestled near his waist at the side.

                After a short argument between the two about how Finn actually did need it, and Damnit Poe just take the stupid thing, I really don’t, the two were back to their tired positions, although Finn had a much harder time falling asleep that time. It wasn’t because of the nightmare: he had calmed down and felt better after to talking to Poe a bit longer, and it wasn’t because of his back either. It hadn’t actually hurt when Poe touched it: it was more of the expected pain that he had jumped from Poe’s touch. No, it was something less physical. Or at least, Finn hoped it was, because if he was developing heart problems after everything he had been through, he wasn’t sure he’d be up to the challenge of being a Resistance fighter. Finn lied awake for a long time after Poe’s shallow breaths became longer and less frequent, his head swimming with thoughts of how he felt and his heart a knotted ball of confused feelings.

                Finn did eventually fall asleep amid the turmoil, though, as evidenced by his heavy lids blinking open sometime in the morning as Poe set the chair back where it had originally been. “Morning,” Finn said, surprising the pilot who jumped at the unexpected voice, nearly knocking the table over. Finn laughed a real laugh for the first time in days, and he was glad it was at Poe’s expense for once rather than his own.

                “Sorry, Finn. I was trying to get out of here without waking you up, but that didn’t turn out too well, apparently.” The pilot was wearing just his jumper and boots, with it unzipped informally down to his chest.

                “Got somewhere to be?” Finn asked, guessing that his answer would be-

                “General Organa wants a meeting with the pilots and their crew before sending some of us off to quickly touch bases with the Republic and bring some supplies back to the base.”

                “Well, duty calls then, Mr. Dameron.” Finn said, suddenly coming to the conclusion that Mr. Dameron sounded pretty fine.

                “So it does,” Poe replied, content to look into Finn’s eyes in that quiet room for the rest of his life. “If I end up going, it’ll be a few days. If not, I’ll be back in time for another evening meal. Sound good?”

                “That sounds great, Poe.” Poe started to leave after Finn gave him his approval, but Finn went on right as Poe was about to walk out the door. “And thanks for, you know, staying with me last night.”

                Poe smiled brightly at Finn, and gave him a nod. “Anything for you, Finn.” As he was walking out, Poe turned his head and gave Finn one last look and winked. “Anything.”


End file.
